Overcoming Fear: How To Conquer Your Fears

Overcoming fear is one the most powerful things you can do for your personal growth and development.

Fear has a way of holding you back and limiting you in several ways. Fear is synonymous with limitations, barriers, negativity, depression. Just about everything bad is associated with fear. Fear is debilitating. It will make you a prisoner in your soul, deter your physical body and eat into the very fabric of your being.

Here is a my personal story on overcoming fear.

Fear of the unknown has made individuals fail in every aspect of their lives and organizations crumble in shambles. Fear has killed a trillion dreams, destroyed destinies and hampered souls.

I am the kind of person that likes succeeding in everything I do. Whatever task I am given, whatever task I give myself, I will do all it takes to get it done but I have always been victim to fear.

You were a sleepwalker when you were young. Even as a toddler! Your father would ask if I am sure nothing is wrong with you. You wake up at times in the night, walking about and then you go back to bed. No cries. Nothing. Just walking about. You wake up at the slightest noise!”

Those were words I used to hear from my mom. Still hear from her till date. For some unknown reasons, I have always been a light sleeper and a worrier. Always scared of the night. Scared of every little sound. Funny enough, as scared I am of the night, I can never sleep with lights on (Dear Boo, you now know the story. Can we please stop fighting over lights out and lights on? Thank you).

Sorry for that digression!

As I grew older, it became even worse! One would have thought that I’d outgrow it but it became worse. I like being by myself though. That sounds contrary right? I don’t know I am weird!

When I started living alone, the situation was worsened. I would use additional beddings over my window blinds! I would shut the windows and doors at night.

Considering the electricity situation in my country, I’d be sweating profusely at night because there would virtually be no air. That was my fear speaking. Making me suffer because I was “submitting” to it.

Cowering to fear to the extent that each time I hear a noise at night, I would assume the worst. I cannot begin to recollect the number of times, I woke up in the middle of night, heart slamming furiously in my heart just because I heard some noise.

Well, I came to realize as time passed that fear has two meanings. FORGET EVERYTHING AND RUN OR FACE EVERYTHING AND RISE! That was part of my defining moment. My epiphany. Succumb to fear and run which will inadvertently make me a loser and a nobody or face everything and rise.

I had to choose either to continually live the way I was living and probably succumb to untimely death or face my fears and conquer them. Hard! I woke up one morning and told myself I had to choose. So I chose.

I chose to face everything and rise. Rise above limitations. Rise above darkness into light.

I threw off extra coverings from my windows. Started sleeping with windows open. Oh yes I love the natural, God given air and it makes me sleep better albeit few hours (insomnia). I have changed the way I look at and do things. Whenever I am confronted with fears, personally or professionally, I survey the situation and then ‘butt” in headlong to get shit done.

These days, you see me soldering on. Whether at the home front or office front. Personally and professionally.

Facing my fears head on. I do not let anything or anyone stop me or make me scared of achieving something.

As long as my heart is there, In my journey for overcoming fear, I use affirmations such as these 20 empowering self love affirmations, 101 affirmations for every aspect of your life and even these 5 daily positive affirmations that are just so powerful, they literally change your mind set and thought processes!


overcoming fear

Like I mentioned above, overcoming fear is absolutely necessary and important to your personal growth and personal development.

A friend once told me how the fear of public speaking almost ruined her career! It was a touch and go situation but a colleague who knew her potential on the job and understood her fear, had to introduce her to a public speaker who tutored her on how to overcome her fear.

Today she speaks in front of CEOs all composed and comfortable in her skin. What she had was Glossophobia: fear of public speaking.

You too can win the battle of overcoming fear like my friend and I. Here are 8 easy but powerful ways for overcoming fear.

1. Identify Your Fear and Its Source

The first step to finding a solution to a problem is identifying the source of the problem. What causes your fear? What do you fear and why do you fear it?

This is the beginning of overcoming the fear. Identify your fears and note the triggers. When you do this, you will gain a better perspective and understanding of the underlying issues.

It is always a great idea to note how you feel when the fear comes, how you usually react and every other emotion you feel.

2. Overcoming Fear: Try Staying Calm

I have always had a phobia for heights but a recent trip to Disney World, Orlando, Florida helped me a lot. I took the race car at the Test Track and one of those cars sling rides (forgotten how they are called).

Both rides were liberating and they have helped in a big way with my fear for heights. At the beginning of the rides, I had some moments of panic but was able to take some deep breathes to calm myself and I enjoyed the rest of it.

So, try staying calm when you are confronted by and with your fears. Some deep breathes will have you feeling “grounded” and when you are calm, the ability to see everything objectively will become clear and in that state, you’d be able to overcome the fear holding you back from doing what you have to do.

3. Overcoming Fear: Talk About Your Fears

Remember, a problem shared is half solved!

Talk about your fear(s) with a friend during those BFFs game nights, a family friend, a mentor or anyone you trust and feel comfortable with talking with. This could also be your partner or boyfriend or husband.

It is absolutely necessary to do this when you are working on overcoming fear. Absolutely necessary.

When you talk about your fears, you discover that they are not really the “big deals” that you make them out to be. You will likely get a perspective from the person you are confiding that will completely change the way you think about the fears that have held you back from achieving your potentials all these years.

So go on and talk about your fears and gradually work your way to overcoming fear.

It will do you a world of good, darling!

4. Avoid Trying Being Perfect

There will always be fears every day of our lives. Fear of the unknown, fear of being alone (making you cling to someone you ought to let go), fear of starting afresh, fear of adventure, fear of letting go. So many fears.

No one person has it all figured out in life. This is the truth. Not even the likes of Warren Buffet and the other rich guys. They still have some fears they are nursing.

You see those skyscraper jumpers? They still have some form of residual fear when they carry out those fearsome jumps but they do it any way.

So avoid trying to be perfect in your journey to overcoming fear.

But do not let fear deter you. Don’t let fear hold you down. Do not let fear sabotage your happiness and sanity. Fear will steal your dreams and visions!

Never mortgage your future on fear. Look your fears.

Stare at them boldly and say, I am gonna beat you, I am not letting you hold me down. I am breaking through and breaking forth!

5. Set Achievable Goals

Often than not, we tend to set life goals that are so huge and big that they end up making us feel overwhelmed, causing anxiety and fear.

In overcoming fear, it is ideal to set short term, small goals to help you overcome your fears instead of taking major leaps that will end up aggravating the situation simply because you couldn’t achieve those “major leaps”.

So go on and set small incremental goals. Remember that small steps culminate into bigger steps.

You may want to read this blog article on how to set the goals you need to achieve to give a better understanding of how to set goals for yourself generally and in your journey to overcoming fear.

6. Overcoming Fear: Develop A Growth Mindset

one crucial thing you need to do to overcome fear is developing a growth mindset. You have to believe in and work towards your personal growth because this is the only way you get to defeat fear.

Having a growth mindset means that you embrace challenges, don’t see failure as a way to describe yourself but as stepping stones for your personal growth  and development as well as improving your abilities.

Every aspect of our lives need growth. You need to embrace challenges and tackle them head to grow and overcome any fear holding you back.

Have a mentor. Surround yourself with people with similar goals, people who thrive on and embrace challenges and learn from them.

7. Recognize That Failure Will Be Part Of the Journey

Failures are stepping stones to achieving success. It will do you a world of good to acknowledge that as you embark on the journey of overcoming fear, you will encounter failure. It is part of the process.

Rome was not built in a day.

So also, you cannot overcome your fears in a day. It is a continual improvement journey and not a one time fix.

Embrace the failures when they do come. Recognize that they are a part of the process and a part of life as well. Learn from the mistakes that led to the failures and try again.

Giving up is not an option.

8. Overcoming Fear: Celebrate Your Wins

I am a huge fan of celebrating wins. Whether tiny, small, big or huge!

They are all wins and victories!

When you win, celebrate. Reward yourself for developing a growth mindset, setting goals and achieving them and conquering your fears in the process.

It is well worth it and this will further bolster your morale, build great self confidence and improve your self esteem.

So go on dear Queens, celebrate those wins and victories.

Celebrate overcoming fear. For winning and overcoming the fears that have held you back for years.

You sure deserve it!

Conclusion On Overcoming Fear

Overcoming fear is very important to achieve personal growth and personal development plans. No one succeeds when they are overcome with and by fear.

Identifying the source of your fear is the first step to overcoming fear because this gives you a perspective as to why you developed a fear or phobia for a thing in the first place, the triggers and thus working your way to developing a growth mindset, setting achievable goals, learning to stay calm when confronted with and by your fears.

Remember, overcoming fear is a continual improvement journey and not a one quick fix thing so embrace the journey. Constantly challenge yourself, surround yourself with people who will help you on the journey.

Take those tiny steps. Learn, grow, and celebrate the wins to overcoming fear.

Please share with the women in your life.

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Kinging Queen

Jennifer Pompaski
Jennifer Pompaski

Hi, my name is Jennifer. I am an Engineer by day and a blogger 24/7. I am passionate about Self Improvement & Productivity and this blog is dedicated to that passion! I hope you find it worthwhile each time you visit! If you do find anything helpful on here, kindly share because sharing is caring!

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  1. February 21, 2020 / 3:15 am

    Such a timely read for me and inspiring as always! Great story!

  2. Austin
    February 13, 2018 / 7:48 am

    Inspiring. You did good

  3. ChiCity
    November 3, 2017 / 5:39 pm

    Thanks dearie, such inspiring piece…FEAR can also be considered as “False Evidence Appearing Real”. I can’t do this presentation is false. They will laugh at me if I take the step is false. Etc. Personally, fear got me retogressed in life but thank God that I am standing tall and bold today. Just as you did, we can always Face Everything And Rise.

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