Lifestyle, Thought Provoking, Wellness

Body Shaming: 5 Reasons Why People Do it!

 

 

20171127_111750

 

 

“Hi everyone. So, I met Caro on a Facebook page, we connected and she asked if I could guest post on her blog. I agreed. This is actually the first time I am guest posting on a blog.

We were brainstorming on what to write about and she suggested “body shaming” after going through a section of my blog titled “Thought provoking””. So here is my first international blog as a guest on another blog….

WHAT IS BODY SHAMING?

The Oxford dictionary defines body shaming as the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size. It is a defamatory act, a bullying act and it has become prominent in recent times. Body shaming is the leading cause of depression especially amongst women who are prone to body changes in relation to age and birth, as well as other extenuating factors.

During my recent trip to Scotland where I visited Aberdeen and met up with an Ex, some comments made by him triggered some memories from when we were together. Those memories were not pleasant ones I must tell you.

I needed a tour guide to see the city since it was my first time there and since he was living there, I called him up to check if he would do the honour of showing me the city. He agreed and I took a night coach from Glasgow to Aberdeen. I arrived and he picked me up, took me to my hotel and came round the next day for the first day of sightseeing.

He needed to pick up some paints from a hardware shop and when I got down from the car, he made a scathing remark that goes thus “the gift I would get you would be a gym membership!”. Like I said before, this triggered some unpleasant memories from when I dated him.

Now the fact is I have added some weight from when he last saw me which was years ago. Whilst I may have been battling weight gain, I am not obese. I am also not “fat” by any standards.

He was and is the kind of person that would attack for gaining just a pound and it was a constant battle between us. The funny is that I was practically skinny when I was with him but he still managed to body shame me.

The second comment was when he tried to play smart with “time” and I ended up missing my coach drive back to Glasgow and him getting a ticket. He took out the frustration of paying an 80 pounds ticket on me by sending a text that when I lose weight, I would be able to walk faster!

These are some of the ways that spouses, partners, friends, families and loved ones are constantly body shaming you and I.

The world has been “brainwashed” by the media about how and what beauty should look like. No. I. DO.NOT.HAVE.ANYTHING.AGAINST.SKINNY.WOMEN! We are constantly bombarded by these super cool pictures of the “ideal body” on all social media platforms that it is now a norm. No one should be made to feel they are “less than human” simply because they have booties and thick thighs! As long as they are healthy, then all should be okay. This is however not the reality on ground.

Body shaming comes in different forms. Being criticized by someone directly to your face, criticized behind your back and the most pathetic body shaming act, is you criticizing yourself.

Body shaming can have a lot of negative effects on persons. It can lead to low self-esteem, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders and profound health issues amongst others.

If body shaming can lead to all sorts of negative effects, why then do people do it?

There are a number of reasons people do it and they include the following:

 

WHY DO PEOPLE BODY SHAME?

  • BULLYING

Body shamers are most likely bullies who derive pleasure from belittling and victimizing people. Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. A bully who body shames you, may not even necessarily be someone “skinny”. It could be someone more or less with same body shape as you but just derives pleasure in making you feel sorry for yourself. These sorts of body shame bullying will only have effect if you are the type that feels you are “fat”. In other words, you are affected by the body shaming act simply because you believe that your body is “not up to par”

  • TAKING OUT THEIR FRUSTRATION

People body shame because they want to take out their frustration on anyone and you just happened to be the next available person! My Ex dissing me was simply an act of frustration. I was available and I became his victim.

  • HAVING LOW SELF ESTEEM

 Another reason people actually body shame others is because they too feel inferior about their own body! Now think about it. Why would someone who is same body shape and size as yours, body shame you? It is simply because they have a low self-esteem. These sorts of people will generally and naturally be bullies.

  •  JUST BEING MEAN

Do you know there are people who are always mean in any and everything? Well, this is another reason why people body shame. They just want to be mean to you. Make you feel bad about your body.

  •  THE “I AM SUPERIOR” FEELING

A babe who feels her body is the “ideal” body will always have the “I am superior feeling” amongst babes who have different body shapes than hers. Someone with this mentality can easily body shame others without blinking an eye.

DON’T LET ANYONE BODY SHAME YOU

Now, as a lady or guy, what is actually important is the status of your health. As long as you are healthy and do not have any health conditions arising from your weight, then you should be proud of your body. Do not let anyone put you down because you have a body they consider “less than stellar”

If on the other hand, you have health issues arising from your weight, then you should consider eating healthy and reducing your weight to an ideal range as advised by your own physician.

You may be body shaming consciously or unconsciously! I think I may have body shamed one or two persons by my comments!

We all should desist from such acts. Let’s make our environment (offices, homes, streets and communities) “No body shaming zones”. There is too much trouble in the world already and we should not add body shaming to it. Spread the word!

I am an African, with booty (yes!) and boobs. Healthy. I am beautiful the way I am and I love my body. You should love your body too! Because you are beautiful just the way you are!

Love yourself fiercely! Use these beautiful Daily Affirmations to boost your confidence and self esteem every day. Do not let body shamers make you lose your self worth!

Till next time.

 

Jennifer Pompaski

To each, his or her own. That is why we all are uniquely different.

Like 11+
Like the post? Feel free and share!

49 thoughts on “Body Shaming: 5 Reasons Why People Do it!

  1. This is so real! Gosh! I felt this to my loins! Social media has become a federal government that set norms for citizens to follow. Good one sis.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
  2. Hmmmm! “Body Shaming” this is Da Bomb Sis! Body shaming only flourishes because we accept it. To support what the piece says, as soon as I am healthy and attractive in my own unique way… What one thinks or says matters not… Thumbs up for u Pompaski

  3. Unfortunately the world is full of this type of conduct..people belittling others in different forms. They are the sad ones that don’t know the difference.

    I’m sure he will stay your ex !

  4. Body shaming is not less than a crime.People who don’t feel confident in themselves tries to lose others confidence as well.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
  5. I’m glad you wrote about this topic because it is so important!!!! I dated a guy that used to poke at my belly and stuff! He would say he was joking, but that stuff sticks! i hated it! Screw that guy, and i’m glad that came out of that recent encounter with this post instead of letting him win! good for you!

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
    1. It is indeed important. I have seen someone who constantly had suicide thoughts on account of body shaming. She is in a better place now. I don’t let people like my Ex win. Never.

  6. Thanks for sharing your personal story in this post. What I try to do is just ignore and separate myself from those type of people.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
  7. so true, its like tall guys always making fun of short guys and girls makes it worse by always saying “I love my girl to be tall, not one short thing” not cool so not cool

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
        1. Just so you know, i was following your blog under the name ufuomajenniferesegine.wordpress.com but self hosted and lost a good number of my followers and likes on my blog so it looks like as if i am starting all over again! Thanks for following again! God bless!

  8. Jennifer, this is so relatable! It’s a sad world we live in and it’s getting even worse for our young ones. I love how you ended this on a very positive note. Keep spreading the love, hopefully more and more of us will come to love us for who we are x

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
  9. Before some people even ask how I am doing they are judging how I look. I don’t need a reminder of being overweight as I can see that myself. Then after they have made me feel insecure they tell me how pretty I am. My point is you would not have to inflate my spirits if you did not initially deflate them. This was a good read.

    Users who have LIKED this comment:

    • avatar
  10. This post is the TRUTH & I love your blog page by the way!! I’ll be making my way through your page and reading more of your posts!! Super interesting. Oh & I am sooo over body shaming. It’s so lame!!! You have a banging body by the way!! Keep giving folks something to hate on! 🙂

  11. Comments like the ones you received say more about the person giving them than the person receiving them. Obviously he felt insecure when he saw you again after all this time and felt the need to hurt you in order to make himself feel better. Body shaming is such a complex topic and I feel you expressed it really well, I have both body shamed and been body shamed in the past. I body shamed another person in defence of a friend who it was happening to, not something I’m proud of but I felt it was necessary because it’s never right to make fun of others and I can be a little hot headed and passionate at times. I think you look amazing and you should own it, who cares what negative and insecure people think!

    1. Your post on body mass insecurities reminded me a lot about this very post on body shaming. Generally body shamers are big bullies and like all bullies, their bullying acts stem from their own insecurities and your ability to recognise it for what it is makes you live above and beat bullies to their own game! Thanks for your lovely comments! I’ve always loved my body and will continue to love it regardless of anyone’s opinions and thoughts!

Leave a Reply