Productiviity, Self Care, The LIST Series

7 Strategies For Building Your Low Self Esteem

Self esteem is confidence in one’s own worth and abilities. Self esteem is self respect. It is essentially, how you feel about yourself. A lot of young women and men have lost their self confidence and esteem from bashings they have received from parents, family members, peers and friends, bosses, spouses. You name it.

Perhaps the saddest type of self esteem and self confidence killers are those that come from family, spouses and close friends. People who ought to have your back 24/7 and even help you build up your self esteem.

Imagine a parent continually telling their kids “you will amount to nothing, i tell you”. I have heard that from a lot of parents and God forbid i say that sort of thing to any of my kids when i do start having mine. When a kid hears that sort of statement, every day, it becomes drilled into his/her mindset. It becomes their “reality” especially when nothing in their life seems to say otherwise. The result? Low self esteem.

I don’t know where i got it from but i have always had high opinion about myself. This is not to say when people do some certain things to me especially at work, it doesn’t affect me. The sense of worth i have about myself comes into play and i am able to overcome and be myself knowing that the onus of having a high self esteem lies on me and not on anyone else. I learnt this by practicing a number of things.

Today i am going to be sharing 7 strategies with you and i hope you learn a thing or two from here that will help you build your sense of worth as a young woman and man. But first, what is self esteem?

Self Esteem Explained

Psychology, describes self esteem as a person’s overall sense of self worth or personal value. It is seen as a personality trait. Self esteem is a reflection of an individual subjective emotional evaluation of his or her worth. It is a DECISION made by an individual as an attitude towards themselves. This latter definition was given by Wikipedia.

Self esteem is synonymous with words like self confidence, self regard, self respect, dignity, morale and self assurance.

reflection of a woman on a mirror depicting self esteem
Self Esteem: Your Reflection

Now, the words “Self Esteem, Self Confidence, Self Respect, Self Assurance, Self Regard” all have one word in common. What is the word? Self. Yourself. You. Now there is a reason the word “DECISION” up there is in caps and bold. Your self esteem is a decision you have to make by yourself. Your “self”.  No one can give you your self worth, you have to define it for yourself. This means that no one but you can determine your self esteem.

So here are my 7 strategies for building up your self esteem

7 strategies for improving your self esteem

Love Yourself

We  are so caught up with every other thing and every other person, we forget to love ourselves. This is the first fundamental to building your self esteem and confidence. You have to love yourself. The magic is in YOU. You alone. Learn to love yourself, flaws, strengths and every other thing in between.

The magic is in loving yourself. Doing away with negative self talk. Stop talking yourself down. Love yourself the way you are because you are a unique individual, unlike any other!

Look at it this way, if you don’t feel good about yourself, when you don’t love yourself, how would you be able to project love? How would you be able to project confidence?

You see, you gotta love yourself darling. You are wonderful, unique and beautiful and there’s just one of you on the whole planet.

I love myself so much, its bothering on vain lol. How about you? Do you love yourself?

pic with the word the magic is in you: self esteem

Be Positive. At All Times

Being positive, no matter what comes your way, goes a long way to building your self esteem. The power of POSITIVITY in life cannot be denied when it comes to the way we live our lives generally and it applies to building up your self confidence also.

Be positive about your life, embrace your experiences whether good or bad. A positive outlook on life is bound to make you feel self confident that no matter what comes, your way, LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

I know it is hard keeping the positivism but that is the recipe for having a good quality life which in turns have a positive effect on how you see yourself and translates to having a high self respect

Avoid People Who Put You Down

By all means, avoid people who put you down. When you are constantly being put down by people, your self esteem takes a bashing again and again. Then you lose focus of what and who you truly are. Its like chipping at a piece of log, every day and then bang, one day, its just a tiny piece of log remaining.

I used to have this direct boss who never seem to be satisfied with anything i do at the office no matter how good it was done. The thing is i was the one doing everything at the office but he would see still pick on me and we share an office. How do i avoid him?

I found a way of “tuning” him out each time he comes in late for work and wants to pick on me. After effectively tuning him out, i go about my responsibilities for the day and just ignore him except where it is absolutely necessary to converse. This went on for a few years till i got a well deserved promotion and got my own office.

Learn To Be Assertive

Be assertive darling. Learn to stand up for yourself. Every one will always have an opinion about everything under the sun including having opinions about you and your life. Its a free world and they are entitled to their opinions just as you are entitled to your own opinions.

Whatever opinions others have of you, know that it is not your truth. It is your belief about yourself that matters. So when people say things about you that are “not your truth”, be assertive and let them know they are wrong. They can either choose to “see” your own perspective and back down or not “see” where you are coming but still back down because they will have understood that you are not a pushover.

At work, learn to be assertive also. Being part of a team, means having different personality types especially those that do not like welcoming ideas from other team members. If you have an idea about a project, suggest it and don’t let the fact that “Miss too goody” or “Mr know all” are on the team.

Be assertive when airing your opinions and ideas. It passes a message across to people around you about your self worth.

Learn From Others

Is there someone in your life who has this high self confidence and never seem to feel any form of self pity? Then you should learn from the person. Observe them. Watch how they carry on, converse with those around them, do things and even how they dress.

Every good thing in life is worth emulating so learn from friends, family and colleagues whom you admire their self confidence. It won’t hurt.

Invest In Books

There are a lot of books on self esteem that you should invest in. Amazon is a great resource to get books that will help you effectively develop a high self esteem.

The book, “Awaken The Giant In You” by Tony Robbins is a great place to start. Other books that you can read include “The Power Of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale, “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown, “The Magic Of Thinking Big” by David J. Schwartz

There are lots of resources and you know Google is your friend. So go on a search and be on you way to being a bad ass confident babe!

Concentrate On Your Strengths

We are humans and we tend to magnify our weaknesses instead of our strengths. We want to “kill” ourselves over our minor weaknesses. This is a recipe for very low self regard. Concentrate on your strengths. Those positive things you’ve got going for you. This will in turn, boost your confidence in your capabilities as an individual. While focusing on your strengths, make efforts to build on those weaknesses so as to gradually turn them to strengths.

For instance, you could be very good at writing but not good at speaking probably because you are shy. The fact that you are shy shouldn’t deter you from being a confident person. Find ways to draw from your strengths to make up for what you lack.

Make Your Environment “Confidence Inspiring”

Do you know your environment which could either be your home or work space at the office is a reflection of how you see and feel about yourself? Is that surprising? The first thing i do when i wake up is make my bed. Everything has to be neat, everything in its place before i leave for work every morning otherwise, when i return to a chaotic living space, it “spoils my psych”.

Make your environment a place, you are proud of no matter where it is located. Put/place things in your home and work space that will make you feel comfortable. I am not talking about filling your home with expensive gadgets darling. Little things here and there. A flower or picture of you/family on your work desk, a comfy throw on your sofa, everything neat, orderly and in their place.

Your environment should breed confidence. It will boost your confidence.

7 strategies for improving your self esteem

So there you have it. Would love to hear from you all, on how you boost your self esteem and confidence. Kindly share.

You all have a fabulous week.

 

Jennifer Pompaski

 

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41 thoughts on “7 Strategies For Building Your Low Self Esteem

  1. Great tips…. it is indeed people who are closest to you that would hurt you the most but one has to continuously stand up for themselves.

  2. These are all great tips. I truly believe self esteem begins at home from when you are young so it’s great that you touched on the parenting aspect of it as well.

  3. Thanks so much for sharing this important article! Loving ourselves is SO important if we want to truly succeed in anything. We always think of our weaknesses and what’s going wrong instead of our strengths and what’s going right! Let’s stay positive and investing time in our well-being!

  4. Powerful nuggets. I still think environment plays the greatest role… A school of thought calls it “Naturslism” which states that environment is the determinant factor to the way one behaves. Environment here could be sociological, economical, biological, physicalogical and otherwise. It is within the environment that we are shaped or moulded into what we become. Like u pointed , parents and close relatives should be careful of what they instill in their children in the name of upbringing. The words said, actions depicted, ways corrections are made, how love or hate is shared either makes or mar a child and it is that child that the environment has moulded that has grown into adult today. He either has a selfworth(esteem) or exhibits inferiority complex. Thanks for sharing… Keep soaring…

    1. City your contributions on KQ Tribe are priceless and very much appreciated! Thanks for joining the conversation as always and thanks for the insights on the role of environment in building self esteem

  5. I was bullied as a child and had low self-esteem. I didn’t go through a big process to grow my self-esteem, but I surrounded myself with positive people who encouraged me to accept the amazing person I am. For those who kind of have to go at it alone these are all great tips to improve self-esteem, and some of these I use with my clients. Thanks for sharing!

  6. I love the advice to keep your surroundings positive and confidence-building. This is the reason that I stopped turning on the news for more than 5 minutes in the morning. Instead, I listen to motivational videos on YouTube to get my day started with a positive mindset. I speak the affirmations, set my agenda for the door and know that I will be successful because I have all the power/resources/motherwit to make happen. Thanks for sharing ways to improve our confidence.

  7. I couldn’t love this post more!! This is so great and empowering to read! I for one has always had a problem with self esteem and only recently have been realizing it’s all about knowing your worth – BUT that realization about the DECISION. Oh my… so powerful!!! 🙂 Thanks so much for sharing these and also the book tips! I will certainly check them out! xx

  8. some great advice here. God knows, even though I am an adult at 37 I have low self esteem. and I should start utilizing these steps. Starting with cutting people out of my life and sadly enough one of those people will have to be my significant other, because he is always calling me a child…

    1. Jennifer, the decision starts with you. You have to make up your mind about it! I’m no relationship expert but I think you should talk to your significant other first. A heart to heart talk and tell him your concerns and then take it from there. I wish you the best of luck!

  9. Useful and informative, especially on being positive. You’re right, it’s not easy to be positive constantly, but all the energy that’s put into positivity, will pay back in positivity from other people you meet. Great post 🙂

    1. I know right? Not easy being upbeat and positive! But what can we do? We gotta try and when the bad days come, we do our best to keep our heads up! Thanks Yechen for your contribution. Have a great week!

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