Being assertive literally means communicating your needs, wants, ideas in a positive and clarifying way putting into consideration other people's ideas as well. Here are 10 tips for being assertive in any place or condition.
There is a way you can be more assertive in life that is not aggressive but clearly communicate's what you want to say in a manner that anyone listening will respect you for.
Life is for the living and it is not a good idea to be this sort of ''people pleaser'' that ends up being the unhappy person in the room always.
Take back your control. Take back your life, queens.
But hey, assertiveness is not arrogance. Please do not confuse one for the other. Arrogance will be assuming you are right and everyone else is wrong (and even though, that is the case, the manner in which you prove your ''rightness" is a a thin line between arrogance and assertiveness)
So there is an ''art'' to be being assertive and that is why I would love to share tips on being assertive with you all today.
But first, why do we need to be assertive? What is assertiveness?
What Is Assertiveness And Why Is Being Assertive Important?
Table Of Contents
- What Is Assertiveness And Why Is Being Assertive Important?
- Benefits Of Being Assertive
- 1. Being Assertive Earns You, Respect
- 2. Assertiveness Improves Self Esteem
- 3. Assertiveness Will Boost Your Self Confidence
- 4. Being Assertive Will Reduce Stress Levels
- 5. Assertiveness Will Improve Your Communication Skills
- 6. Job Satisfaction
- 7. Creates More Win-Win Scenarios
- 8. Assertiveness Will Help You Create Honest & Healthy Relationships.
- 9. Being Assertive Helps You Understand & Recognize Your Feelings
- Assertiveness Makes You Comfortable In Your Skin
- 10 Tips For Being More Assertive: How To Become More Assertive
- 1. Make the conscious and deliberate decision to be more assertive
- 2. Practice Assertiveness
- 3. Be More Of A Listener
- 4. Tips For Being Assertive: Use The Power Of ''I''
- 5. Value Yourself And Rights
- 6. Being More Assertive By Agreeing To Disagree
- 7. Being Assertive By Learning To Say No
- 8. Speak Simply And Avoid Guilt Trips
- 9. Tips For Being Assertive: Stay Calm
- 10. Tips For Being More Assertive: Be Patient And Trust Your Journey
Assertiveness is a core communication skill we need in every facet of our lives. From our homes, relationships, office relations to the boardroom and businesses, we need assertiveness.
We already know that a great sense of self-worth is required for success in life.
When you are not assertive, you suffer serious low self-esteem. The thing is when you have low self esteem, people can usually ''tune'' to it and use it as an advantage to disadvantage you.
The reverse is the case. When you are assertive, you earn respect from people around you and of course this improves self-esteem and self-confidence.
Read that, again.
Now, why avoiding conflict is generally good, if you are the type that would rather go ''with the flow'' and other people's decision that are not in anyway favorable to you, every one assumes that you don't believe your own opinions and ideas matter and that is the beginning of being put at the ''back burner''.
Assertiveness is a diplomatic communication style that helps you express yourself very confidently and effectively while also respecting other people. It will help you manage/reduce stress
These are some of the reasons, you need assertiveness, to learn to be more assertive at work and home.
Benefits Of Being Assertive
The benefits of being assertive are numerous and they include
1. Being Assertive Earns You, Respect
When you are assertive, people respect you more and usually look up to you.
2. Assertiveness Improves Self Esteem
Being assertive will greatly impact your self-esteem and self-worth. Positively, of course.
3. Assertiveness Will Boost Your Self Confidence
Nothing beats the feeling of being able to stand up for yourself especially in an office setting. Assertiveness boosts self esteem and in turn yourself confidence.
4. Being Assertive Will Reduce Stress Levels
Yes, you read that right. Being assertive reduces stress especially if you are the type that finds it hard to say no and then take on more responsibilities than you can handle.
5. Assertiveness Will Improve Your Communication Skills
Assertiveness will generally improve your communication skills being a diplomatic kind of communication skills.
6. Job Satisfaction
You will get a lot of job satisfaction from being more assertive at work. Instead of being the employee who always cowers at the back of boardroom, you become this babe who is respected for expressing herself and putting her opinions in a respectful manner.
7. Creates More Win-Win Scenarios
You communicate your feelings and opinions effectively while respecting and considering other people's feelings and opinions as well. This creates a win-win scenario at work and home.
8. Assertiveness Will Help You Create Honest & Healthy Relationships.
You are able to let others know that your opinions matter, you respect yourself. They in turn will know your stand on issues. They know what you stand for, you know what they stand for and this creates an atmosphere for honest and healthy relationships.
9. Being Assertive Helps You Understand & Recognize Your Feelings
You get to have this great relationship with yourself from being more assertive instead of being passive. You get to know understand your feelings about certain things and of course how to deal with whatever extenuating factor that may be causing those feelings.
Self knowledge is powerful!
Assertiveness Makes You Comfortable In Your Skin
Being assertive comes with self-confidence and this makes you very comfortable in your skin. You are no longer that girl that would rather keep mute than stand up for their truth and then go lick their wounds in a dark place.
10 Tips For Being More Assertive: How To Become More Assertive
There are people who are naturally assertive but assertiveness can actually be learned.
Here are 10 tips for being assertive.
1. Make the conscious and deliberate decision to be more assertive
Like every "good habit", positive change comes with first making deliberate decisions about something. To be more assertive, you have to make the decision.
2. Practice Assertiveness
There are many ways you can practice being assertive and these include talking in the front of the mirror or even practicing with family or friends and then get feedback from them.
3. Be More Of A Listener
I have had incidences where I jumped right a conversation only to discover that I was wrong and that if I had ''listened to understand", I would likely have taken another perspective.
To be more assertive, you have be more of a listener. Listen and understand what the other party is trying to say before making your conclusions and contributions. That way, when you do, you earn respect.
4. Tips For Being Assertive: Use The Power Of ''I''
Make any points you believe are right using words like "I think'', "I feel" instead of phrases like ''you always", ''you never'', "you tend to" as they are aggressive and not assertive.
5. Value Yourself And Rights
A woman without a sense of self-worth can as well just be a doormat for just about any man or woman. Having worked in a male dominated profession for years, I know what it is like if you don't value yourself.
Darling, have a strong belief in your inherent value, to yourself and any organization you work. Invest in yourself, know your onions and you are well on your way to being more assertive.
6. Being More Assertive By Agreeing To Disagree
I think one fundamental truth is that not everyone will function at your level of reasoning.
We all have our different life experiences and environmental influences so we all think differently.
This is a "weapon" you can utilize in your quest to being more assertive whether at home or to work.
Even if you are not convinced of their "stands", agree to disagree politely and move on.
7. Being Assertive By Learning To Say No
Dear queens, no matter what you do, you can never please everyone.
Trust me on this.
Instead of taking on more work than you should at the office, learn to say no instead of piling up work that will end up with you raising your cortisol levels and being stressed.
People pleasing is a big No, no when you are learning the art of being assertive.
Know your limits, set your boundaries and start saying no to things you should say "no" to more often.
8. Speak Simply And Avoid Guilt Trips
Speak simply and directly. Try as much as possible not to make too many long speeches and statements.
We all know our truths but it may not be others ''truths'' and some still will not relate to your truth in any way. So avoid guilt trips.
When asserting yourself, less is more. It doesn't mean you have to speak much to make yourself understood.
Be simple, direct and straight to the point.
9. Tips For Being Assertive: Stay Calm
Being assertive means being calm when communicating.
You don't need to shout.
They hear you well and better when you calmly make your stand and make your thoughts and opinions known.
10. Tips For Being More Assertive: Be Patient And Trust Your Journey
Queens, you are on this new journey to being your assertive self.
Results won't come overnight so there is no need to stress and overthink that no one takes you seriously.
Stay on the course, focus on these 10 tips for being assertive and you will absolutely become get it. With time, family, friends and colleagues will begin to see and respect the new assertive you.
If I missed any tip on these 10 tips for being assertive, head on to comment and let's chat. Don't forget to share this!