Hello! How you all doing today? I hope you guys enjoyed your weekend blues?
I know you all are probably wondering now. What is Jennifer up to today? Mother hens and emotional blankets? Whatever does that mean? Lol. I beg your pardon? You want to tell me you seriously don’t know what mother hens are? Mother + Hens = Mother Hens right? So what has got you confused there lol? Okay. Okay. I know the emotional blanket thing is a throw off. Hear me out. Will you?
The same simple “mathemenglish” (i am being enterprising and “invent-ful” here, thank you. Afterall invention is the mother and father of entrepreneurship) equation applied on the Mother hen also applies to emotional blankets as well. So Emotional + Blanket = Emotional Blankets right? I have never seen a simpler equation and answer like this in my entire life! Not like those calculus maths courses that were almost my undoing at the university! Yeah right!
So how and why, am i marrying Mother Hens and Emotional blankets in a blog post? You want to know the correlation right? Don’t be impatient. Hang on for the ride!
Mother hens by my own dictionary are women with strong and deep protective instincts Sorry to say this but there are lots of women who do not have protective instincts. It is not just in their genetic formation. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Practically non existent in them. There are varying degrees to the level of “protective instincts” in women but mother hens have super protective instincts.
The American heritage dictionary defines mother hen as a person who fusses over others in a protective manner. This connotes that mother hens are caring, loving people with beautiful souls. Mother hens attend to the needs of others. Usually in overprotective ways.
Emotional blanketeers in the context of this blog post are men who seek out mother hens for relationships. Relationships could be platonic or serious, and in most cases relationships between mother hens and men who are emotional blanketeers usually end disastrously. This is because emotional blanketeers are solely in the relationship because for the “succour” provided by the woman, who is the mother hen. Such relationships start off well, the woman is always flattered that her man is always telling her stuff about himself (it is usually in the form of unloading all his worries on her but she will never truly understand the depth until probably when the relationship starts fizzling out) but what she will not know till probably at the end of the relationship is that her role in the relationship was that of an emotional blanket for the guy.
Now, men who are emotional blanketeers don’t give. They take and take and take some more. Without giving. They are so selfish if selfish hits them smack in the face, they wouldn’t know!
Now picture this scenario. A babe meets a guy. They like themselves and start dating. Now the babe is the eldest in her home (worthy of note here that first borns usually have super protective instincts) while the guy is the last child for his parents. The babe is someone you can describe to a T as a mother hen. Now coupled with the fact that she loves the guy, she is protective of him, pampers the guy. She gradually becomes a towel, a blanket for the guy to literally soak his worries and anxieties and every petty thing you can imagine under the planet. She however doesn’t see this angle (the way you are seeing it now lol). She is blinded by her love for the guy against all else. He is perfect. Her baby. To fuss over. Love and cherish. Now this guy never does shit for her because she is a career lady as he is.
He does not assist her. Does not pay nor help in paying her bills. No moral, financial, emotional or psychological support in anyway. All he does is unload and free load. Each time, she wants to talk about anything concerning her, the conversation always goes back to “being about the guy” and all his shit. Every single time. He can build a house for his parents but he will not even go shop for a thong for the babe(you know what a thong is right? The average Victoria Secrets thong won’t compare to a building a house right? This might come across as being exaggerated but the picture i am painting here is actually a real life relationship). She is just an emotional blanket. All she does is soak up the guy’s baggage.
He can pay his sisters’ bills and pay tuition fees for his nieces and nephews but he will not buy a McDonald’s hamburger for the babe. He will order for designers pieces but will forget to order for even chocolates for the babe. He will however always be making proclamations of love. Day in. Day out.
The guy keeps his friends from the babe. Their paths never cross. The guy tells his family that she is just a friend and not a lover. While doing all these and many more, he keeps making the babe believe that he loves her so much. What he is actually doing is giving an illusion of love. It is non existent.
That is the modus operandi of an emotional blanketeer. Now because the babe is a career babe and independent, she can sort herself, pay her bills and all that. She wouldn’t mind. However it gets to a point where discontent and disconnect begin to happen.
A woman is meant to be pampered, cared for, provided for by a man. It is the natural order. It is the way it is meant to be. The role of a woman is that of a “helpmeet”. Oh yes you can quote me anytime. Now because she is not being pampered (emotionally, psychologically, financially (damn right it counts too)), she begins to question a lot of things. How the guy never seems to be around nor available for anything that concerns her. Family functions, he never showed up for. Number of times, she had personal issues and the guy never came through as against every single time, she “showed” up for the guy in different innumerable ways.
This is where disconnect and discontentment begin to come into play in the relationship. The babe gradually begins to withdraw, eyes are wide open now. The guy knows the game is up. He will start throwing the babe’s flaws at her. The same guy who said he loves all of her. That’s when he will start throwing every known and unknown “card” to make the babe guilty when in fact he is the guilty one. Then she leaves and he looks for another emotional blanket.
Emotional blanketeers are men to be avoided! Life is give and take. If your man is all about taking and not giving, then you should question where the relationship is going. Giving doesn’t mean he has to buy you a house. Giving means being there for you in every way imaginable. If a man truly loves you, you will be his ride or die. Flaws and all!
There are several red flags to identify guys who are emotional blanketeers.
- They DON’T GIVE. In any form. Psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, financially. Nada. They won’t give you shit. Selfishness is their forte.
- They EXPECT the babe to be an emotional blanket to soak up all their shit. They will unload and freeload on you but you can’t share your worries with them. Your worries are yours and yours alone girl. You are on your own if you are dating this sorta guy.
- This sort of guy always has REASONS for every selfish act he carries out. Reasons that will sound plausible at first but will become glaring lies the day the babe “wakes” up.
- He is always “NO SHOW” when the babe got some things going. He won’t show up for your do at home, he won’t show up for your birthday, he won’t give you a gift, he won’t show up to support you at your business launch or job presentation. No Show can as well be another name for a guy that is an emotional blanketeer.
- He is good at SUGGESTING ways to better relationships to his friends and family but never does anything to better his own. He is a big counselor when it comes to family and buddies relationships but he will never remove the “lint” in his own eyes.
There you have it. Mother hens and emotional blankets. Mathemenglish that appears to be simple but is actually one hell of a relationship type that blows no good wind.
Who has had the “privilege” of dating an emotional blanketeer?
Disclaimer. I am not a relationship expert or counselor. Experiences shared are totally personal.
To each his/her own. That is why we all, are uniquely different.Love, Jennifer.